Just some random thoughts...
Just some random thoughts...
Why is it that people feel the need to be part of a couple to feel complete as individuals? I know that's a little on the heavy side but it's truly a concept that boggles me. Most of us are taught that the right thing to do is find someone to marry and start a family because that is our ultimate goal in life. If anyone says differently-that they were not raised with this concept-then I have to ask you to really be honest with yourself! I mean it puts a lot of pressure on us. Then I have to wonder if the "person" that I am with is the "person" I truly want to be with for the rest of my life or someone that just came into my life at the right moment and I ended up settling for that "person." You know that moment that you are in the comfortable mode and you say what the heck! and you realize it takes too much energy to analyze the relationship to know for sure that this is the ONE. I have known a lot of couples that I have seen this happen to. As an outsider looking in, it's not a pretty sight. However, I will not say that I was never a part of one these unsightly relationships. I used to be the posterchild for god's sake! But I always knew that HE was not the one. It just took a very long time for him to realize that and I am still not sure if he ever really got it. Fortunately, I did realize that I didn't need someone else to make me feel complete. I needed to make myself complete before I added anyone else into the equation. So I wonder why the concept is so backwards. I see a lot of couples, that after going through the archaic ritual of finding someone to marry and starting a family, trying to find out who they are as individuals after the fact. Then the real sad state of affairs begin. You guys know exactly what I am talking about so I will not go into detail about it. If you don't, take a class in relationship breakup 101. The more I think about it the more confused I get. Shouldn't we be complete individuals before we bring another person into our incomplete chaos? Sorry again for the heaviness of this one but I just had to put it out there. Well, on that note off to bed I go. Love and kisses...
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Comments
Rosey,
I think you might be analyzing a little to much. Are you an TDF? This is one area where i have substanial knowledge. "the more you think you know; the less you really know". There is no way to look for romance, soul-partner, or even a reliable boyfriend. But, when the right one comes along you will know it by the way he treats you, and makes you feel. The best advise i can share with you is this: find a best friend. you know the one that you can talk to, confide in, laugh and cry with. Most of all someone that shows you his love, here, action speaks volumes over words.
When you find that person, you w/be miles ahead of most of us.
meanwhile, enjoy life, there's a lot of fun out there while that certain someone is looking for you.
Love and Good Luck,
dick
All right -- who broke up or is going through relationship crap because I know this had to come from SOMEWHERE!
What I think happens is that we are searching for "something" that is missing and somehow connect that to being another person missing. Sad fact is that it is often not until we see ourselves reflected in this other person that we really start to figure out that the thing we were searching for is US. Sometimes, you CAN still find yourself within the confines of a relationship but most of the time you can't. And yeah, that IS WHEN it starts to get ugly.
Not as ugly as I am now before having had coffee... but close!
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