Life As I See It and Then Some.... 

Back to my world again....

So he's gone. Actually he's been gone since last Wednesday. I dropped him off at JFK and trekked on back alone with the last thing he said to me doing continuous playback in my head. His last words to me were-"Rose, you need to make a decision about your life." I know that may sound a little corny to some of you out there but it really struck a chord with me. I truly believe that he came into my life at this moment for a more profound reason but it's a reason that I don't think I can express verbally to anyone else. It kind of leans towards spiritual but it's not spiritual. It's more of a soulful reason. That's the best kind of explanation I can give anyone. He was only in my life for less than 2 weeks and he knew me better than most people that have known me for 2 years. It's really weird. He made me realize a lot of things about myself that not even my closest family members noticed. I know I am starting to sound a little obnoxious about this whole situation but it still amazes me how he did it. How he just "got" me. I am just glad that he came into my life. Who knows? Might just go to Spain after all! But not until I am done with what I have to do, though. Already had that conversation and I have made too many sacrifices so far to give everything up for somebody else again. Sorry Maria for putting you through that scare about leaving but Spain IS closer than Hawaii! Well, I need to end this Ooey-Gooey blog because it's starting to make me a little ill. For all of the few random readers out there-I have plenty of other "good" material to write about. Just because of this recent "distraction" came up does not mean that the rest of my world stopped existing. I still have the amazing effect of creating chaos without actually being around. This is still a questionable talent of mine. Think I should put it under the TALENTS AND SKILLS section of my C.V./resume? I personally don't think it would be P.C. of me. Coming to an email near you-Rose's Nondrama Drama! Love and Kisses until next time : )

Still,
Rosebud

I think I found "THE ONE" but...

Let me first start this out by explaining what I mean by "THE ONE"-believe it or not I am a true idealistic romantic when it comes to knowing you have found "ThE ONE." I believe that when I meet the right person, I will just know. It's the feeling of someone "getting" you without really knowing you yet. It's more than just a physical chemistry at first glance kind of feeling. It's a deep instant bond you have with someone when you first meet them. Alright, here's an analogy. You know the feeling you have when you are working on a puzzle and you only have one more piece to complete it and you have lost it but then you find it and snap it into place and you get that satisfying "completed" feeling. Well, that's what I am talking about. "THE ONE," my last piece of the puzzle. I know most of you may be a little shocked about this type of thing especially coming from me. i always thought that maybe that this was too much to ask for but I met someone that made me believe in my hopeless storybook romantic view again. The "but" in my title is that he is going to Spain in a week. Long story on the details but the main thing is that he is going for his second Masters degree there and the program is almost 2 yrs long. I met him Friday and he found out that he was accepted on Saturday and the classes start this week! Talk about shitty timing. He asked me to go with him. I may be impulsive but that's a little extreme even for me! Is it possible that you can be heart broken so soon after meeting someone? Could my idea of finding "THE ONE" be valid? Anyone with any answers or comments on this, let me know.

Lovelorn,
Rosebud

I am so damn tired...

Another day of working all day and studying for another horrendous exam. I am so friggin' tired but its a mental tired more so than a physical tired. So why am I writing this blog right now you ask? Because I need to unwind mentally. I am working two jobs not because I really need to financially but because of sense of obligation. However, I get paid well for both and they are as flexible as I need them to be for my other schedules. So I can't really complain. It's just that they are both on two totally different brain capacity levels. One I am the accounting queen, the other I am the dental office multitasker. Let me also add that I usually end up working both on the same day. Then at the end of the day, I am studying microorganisms and body functions and parts. Forgot about the other days that I am running to school. It's just the whole brain multitasking that is really fatiguing. Plus the traveling, on a normal day I am at least three different places not including home as one of them. Of course, I have to add a little social time in somewhere. At least I have curbed that down a lot here. I don't even have time sometimes to call people back because when I have the time it's usually when everyone is sleeping, like now. So I know I am one of many in this busy predicament but I just wanted to vent. Maybe that is why I am taking the opportunity to go to VB this weekend. Yes, it is a pretty long drive but its the only time that I have alone for a few hours. That's another thing-I am always surrounded by people. I have to say though, it is never a dull moment in my life. I guess I need to stop the bitching and be thankful that I have all these people in my life. Because I wouldn't know what to do without them! I am actually okay with my busy schedule I just wish sometimes there were more hours in the day to get things accomplished. And that my brain and body could keep up with it. However, I think years of 5-6 hours of sleep (on a good night) is starting to catch up with me. So I will stop this delusional babbling now so I can get a little shuteye to start another crazy day. Love and kisses...

Rosebud

Okay...here goes some more random babbling...

I would like to comment on Ms. Heather's latest blog (thereisthat.blogspot.com) about my remark that I made about her "losing" the single vibe. I did not mean it to be a put down by any means at all. I am happy for my girlfriends that are in a good, healthy, loving relationship. Really, I am. However, there is always the flip side of your girlfriends getting into that comfy zone w/ their honey that changes the level on the girlfriend friendship. Now, we "single" gals have not changed our lifestyle during your relationship w/ said lovebug but you have. All of a sudden, girlfriends that you could call up in the middle of the night or morning to bitch or dramatize about whatever (whether it be a guy or just a broken nail) become different. Convos are not on the same level. The sympathizing is also on a different level. We "single" gals and our "dramas" become entertainment to our now "coupled" friends. The same coupled friends that were in the same trenches as us before they met the perfect guy. Now, I don't want anyone to think that this is coming from a bitter jealous single woman angle. It really isn't. It's coming from a person that has been on both sides of the fence. I was missing for almost seven years from my friends and the rest of the world during my incarceration with my ex. However, that was an extreme case. And I am not saying that any my newly hooked up friends are on that harsh level of dismissal. I am now on the single gal's receiving end and I can understand that this all a part of the circle of life or however that saying goes. I enjoy being single and I am taking full advantage of all the opportunities life throws my way because I am single. I just ask my coupled girlfriends to respect the fact that I am single and I haven't changed my lifestyle just because they have. And that every once in awhile to remember that we "single" gals just need to vent to our girlfriends(premeeting their personal love slaves), the ones that used to go out on those infamous drinking missions when your heart was broken once again by another asshole. Therefore, on that note I just want to pass on some advice that was given to me- The only thing you really need to get through anything in life is girlfriends-value them accordingly. Love and kisses to all (single and coupled buddies)....
Rosebud

Yes...It has been awhile....

Man does time fly while you are having fun or what? Okay not that I am always having fun but time is still flying. Since last blog, a lot of things have gone on in my world and the outside world. A hurricane hit. Eventhough I was not in the area this time, I still felt the effects from friends and family that were. Have to admit that I did not really miss not being there for it. Though it was mentioned that I really should be there during that time to experience it. I think I have had enough "hurricane" parties and "hurricane" hangovers to last me awhile. My birthday was shortly after. For all my "good" friends that missed it or forgot when it was (hint: it's part of my screen name), I will forgive you this year. Well, you know me. I don't just celebrate for one day. I take the whole week and include the weekend as mine. Hey, it's my birthday I can do what I want. I went down to VB for a few days to end my celebratory birthday week. It was a good trip. I had my cake and ate it too. If you know what I mean. So I am good for awhile in that department. So now it's back to being serious again up here. I was in the city this past weekend (NYC). I have to say I had an interesting time. To really enjoy the city you have to know where to go. This time I was with a NYU student so he showed me some places that I didn't know about which was cool. Because usually when I go into the city, it's to meet in certain restaurants or bars so it was nice to hang with the "locals" and get that view on it. NYU is one of my options to transfer to so I definitely enjoyed my "personal" tour. Talking about transferring. I am seriously thinking about going to Hawaii to finish my degree. I am really, really thinking about it. So far I have had mixed reactions to this. Most of the reactions are more to me not going because of the whole distance thing. But come on guys, it is Hawaii after all. I mean what other time in my life would I be able to actually go there for a couple of years? I have yet to hear anyone that has been there for any reason say that it sucked. Well, I still have a little while before I apply. But now that winter is coming upon us soon, it is starting to sound more appealing. I am also becoming a little more tech savvy. I now have a PDA-no it's not some disease-it's one of those palm pilot things. I needed something more advanced to organize my life. This thing is amazing. I know if I program this thing correctly it could probably fly around the room with a click of a button. Just amazing, I say. Now if I can only get it to run at least half my errands for me, I would really be rocking. I know this is a little on the not so exciting side of blogs but I wanted to let everyone know that I am still around and kicking and that no matter how busy life gets for all of us that I am still here and reachable. HINT...HINT...Tell me what's going on with you guys. Until next time (promise it won't be so such a long stretch because then I can't fit in all the juicy details : )! Love and kisses...

Continuation of random babbling...

Sorry about that...I hit the wrong button! Now this random rash thing. It looked like somebody had slapped me pretty hard in the face w/out the fingermarks. It was a nice really rosy pink. Attractive I must say so myself. Okay now I hope you can hear the sarcasm dripping off that last sentence. Today it's still pink but not as rosy. The cause is still a mystery. I didn't do anything or eat anything out of the ordinary. It just appeared. I have been actually putting on makeup to cover this up so if you know me pretty well, you know this has to be pretty drastic for me. I usually put on makeup if I have interesting enough plans to warrant the extra energy put into the whole makeup routine. Last night, I went to the movies to see "Once Upon a Time in Mexico." Great movie. At least for me it was. You know Johnny Depp was in it so I definitely had to watch it. I also enjoyed "Desparados" and the whole Quentin Tarantino kind of movie. Who knows maybe I have a secret passion for Mariachi players! I am not trying to push the movie on anyone because I know it's definitely not everyone's type of movie. However, I do have to comment on how much movies are now! I haven't paid for a movie in a very long time but not that long of a time. I didn't pay last night either but I was there when the tickets were purchased and I was a little on the shocked side. It was $9 a ticket! I was shocked because I remembered it being $5 or $6 the max. Was it that long ago that I paid for a movie ticket or did major inflation hit in Cinemaworld and I wasn't aware? Or maybe because of the area I live in? I know real estate and a lot of other things up here are a little more on the pricey side but even the movies? Such a travesty, I say! Well, I need to get things ready for tomorrow and apply more cream to "the mysterious pink rash" on my face. If anyone has had this happen to them let me know what your outcome was. Love and kisses....

Rosebud

Random babbling....

Weirdest thing happened to me yesterday. I had a very unsightly rash thing that appeared on my face out of the blue!

Let me add something to the last blog...

I am loving the fact that I am getting some feedback on my last blog because it makes me realize how "my" readers are perceiving my writen random thoughts. I am guessing that maybe my last "random" thought came out as a bitter cynical thought. I don't want anyone to think that I was writing with that angle. I just was expressing a concept that I am not sure that I can put all my faith in. And no this does not mean that I am back to my commitment phobic ways. Actually I think I am more open for a relationship possibility than I was before. I am not looking but not completely shutting my door on it like I used to. However, my first priority is still my schooling. So I am sorry if my last thought came out in a bitter cynical angle (I told you it was a little on the "heavy" side). I just wanted some feedback or argument on my "random" thought. Well, I need to do some "surfing" for some ticket info on the net so I will go now. Until next time....

Rosebud

Just some random thoughts...

Why is it that people feel the need to be part of a couple to feel complete as individuals? I know that's a little on the heavy side but it's truly a concept that boggles me. Most of us are taught that the right thing to do is find someone to marry and start a family because that is our ultimate goal in life. If anyone says differently-that they were not raised with this concept-then I have to ask you to really be honest with yourself! I mean it puts a lot of pressure on us. Then I have to wonder if the "person" that I am with is the "person" I truly want to be with for the rest of my life or someone that just came into my life at the right moment and I ended up settling for that "person." You know that moment that you are in the comfortable mode and you say what the heck! and you realize it takes too much energy to analyze the relationship to know for sure that this is the ONE. I have known a lot of couples that I have seen this happen to. As an outsider looking in, it's not a pretty sight. However, I will not say that I was never a part of one these unsightly relationships. I used to be the posterchild for god's sake! But I always knew that HE was not the one. It just took a very long time for him to realize that and I am still not sure if he ever really got it. Fortunately, I did realize that I didn't need someone else to make me feel complete. I needed to make myself complete before I added anyone else into the equation. So I wonder why the concept is so backwards. I see a lot of couples, that after going through the archaic ritual of finding someone to marry and starting a family, trying to find out who they are as individuals after the fact. Then the real sad state of affairs begin. You guys know exactly what I am talking about so I will not go into detail about it. If you don't, take a class in relationship breakup 101. The more I think about it the more confused I get. Shouldn't we be complete individuals before we bring another person into our incomplete chaos? Sorry again for the heaviness of this one but I just had to put it out there. Well, on that note off to bed I go. Love and kisses...

Rosebud

Continuation of last blog and maybe some present stuff...

Okay...where was I? The guy, that's right. Okay met a guy (actually quite a few that evening!) Sat. evening, a few hours after coming into town. This guy stood out from the crowd though. Definitely not my type at first glance. Well, he had my MO-blonde hair and blue eyes. He just was not my usual surfer/yuppie type that I go for. He had tattoos on his arms and was pretty big in a muscular kind of way and he has a Harley! Plus he was pretty entertaining and forthright. It had been a long dry spell for me also. Needless to say (Heather that one was for you : ), I couldn't resist the temptation of "hooking up." So I guess I ended the dry spell on a pretty good note. Did I mention that his name is also a wintertime sport? Funny, huh. You know me, I always have to keep it interesting. Enough of VB for now. I started school this week. Didn't I just finish about a week and a half ago? Yeah, that's right I did! Unfortunately, not one of those classes were Underwater Basketweaving! I think the summer classes I took were for people who want to go insane before the age of 30. I survived though with a little wear and tear. So now I am back for more abuse. Actually this should be a breeze because I will actually have a full 15/16 weeks of time to devote to Anatomy & Physiology II and Microbiology and maybe Statistics. Instead of cramming all that information into 4 weeks! Summer classes are insane if you have some semblance of a life. They are just way too consuming! But I did Ace them so my "panic attacks" were not fruitless. My car is fixed and it didn't need a complete overhaul. Thank god for second opinions. Now I have to coordinate with getting down to VB to get everything taken care (registration, inspection.) I am coming back at the beginning of October for another event so I may wait until then. Just another thing to add to my endless "things to do" list. Well, I am sitting here with a facial clay mask on (yes the all famous green one) and whitening strips on my teeth and the timer is going off so I must go now. I thought you guys would find that as a funny visual considering I am finding it quite amusing myself. Love and kisses....

Rosebud